When I first started listening to your music, you were already gone—but I didn’t know that. I borrowed “New Moon” from the library.

I don’t know if it bothers you that people released your music after you were gone. But I love “New Moon.” I love it so much. So if you are angry with any of your friends for releasing it—please forgive them! There is so much beauty in your voice. But just as I try to wrap my mind around one lovely note, it seems to drift out of existence. And then back in again. There is this word—xibipíío. It comes from an indigenous Amazonian tribe called Pirahã. I read that there is no English translation, but it seems to mean “flickering in and out of existence.” I have never been to the Amazon. I have never met the Pirahã people. I have never met you. But when I hear your voice, I think I feel what the first Pirahã person felt when he or she used the word “xibipíío.”

It’s so strange, but I don’t know how else to describe it.  It’s so strange and I don’t know how to thank you for it.

With love and immense gratitude,
Zoë 

Elliott’s music is the one thing I can depend upon when things get bad. I don’t have the words for how good it is that no matter what happens, his songs are just a few clicks of a button away.

i saw Jeff Mangum last night at the Crystal, something i thought i would never get to do. i didn’t sob like i expected i might, i only teared up, and i didn’t even tear up precisely because of the beauty and wonder of being in the same room as Jeff Mangum. i cried because seeing him made me realize, in a way i guess i never fully had, that i am never going to get to see you (unless time travel becomes a possibility in which case someone else will have to kill Hitler because i will be otherwise occupied. forever.) 

and that just really, really sucks.

because i can imagine, at least on a very removed, theoretical level, what it would be like. i would know every song you could play and i would sing along quietly to all of them, and you would be shy and sweet and smoking cigarettes. i’ve heard enough live recordings of you that i can imagine how you would sound, and what kinds of covers you might play, and what your stage banter would be like.

but i can’t begin to imagine how it would make me feel. i know it would be the most important thing that has ever happened to me, and though i wish you were sitting on a cloud in heaven, waiting for me with your guitar, i don’t think it ever will.

and if i did have a time machine? i would find you and i would hug you and i would not let go. i would hold you and stroke your hair and your track marks, and we would get through it - i would take on all of your pain if i could, and i wouldn’t let you leave us. i would protect you. “the people you’ve been before that you don’t want around anymore, they push and shove and won’t bend to your will: i’ll keep them still.”

i think any fan of yours would want to. when i visited your wall in LA, i was overwhelmed by how much you are loved still. we love you so much, elliott. i hope you know, somewhere, somehow, how much you mean to us.

you’re not in pain anymore, and i just want to thank you for being so brave and holding on as long as you did and leaving so much of yourself behind for us. i want to thank you for carrying me through so much. thank you for everything.

i didn’t really realize til last night that i would never see you perform, somehow, and i guess last night made tangible for me in a way that nothing else has that you’re actually gone. but you’re not even, really. not to me.

but i really miss you today.

xo,

Maria

I hope that you’re happy and can finally see the love that has been your’s all along.  I wish you were here, but i think that’s selfish of me. I love you. 

Your music has always been there for me and at times I swear I can feel my heart physically ache when I remember there will never be new songs from you.  Falling asleep to your music helps silence the anxiety and frustration that builds up during the day.  Waking up to your music in the middle of the night soothes me and comforts me just like a mother’s soft lullaby does for an upset child.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing your talent with us.  I also can’t stop hating the fact that you’re gone.

Hey guys,

y’all are awesome, but I can’t post letters if I don’t get any.

Send some in?

Your music never fails to make me feel a little better about myself. Thanks for that.

Dear Elliott:

I found you through my friend Drew. We were in a mental ward together, and he played Waltz #1 during a music therapy session. I say without any sarcasm or reservations that your music has made me a different person. You’ve saved so many people, Elliot, and I’m one of them. Whenever I feel like hurting myself, I just turn on your music and cry. Cry for all that’s been lost, for all that has yet to be lost.

I miss you every day. I cannot thank you enough.

You are an inspiration to the world.

-Maggie

My brother used to be your biggest fan. I used to sit and listen to your music since I was just 10 years old with him. Back then I wasn’t really sure what the songs meant. Just I knew that your beautiful serenades was all I needed to keep calm. 

3 years later after my brother was gone I began to listen to you on my own. Looked up your lyrics, personal history, and I knew you weren’t just the average. Your songs held soul and stories of people everywhere. No matter how depressing, you were my hero.

2 years later you were all that remained on my ipod. Every song you’ve ever written remained in my head. Sometimes I wonder who you really were. 

Elliott, why do you have to be gone? You were my everything. Still are.

Dear Elliott,

Most nights I cry myself to sleep and think about my life ending but to be honest, your music has made me want to kill myself that little bit less.

Every time I get sad I just put on your record and drink green tea and just thank goodness that you made music that I can relate to and is just so goddamn beautiful.
I cry whenever I listen to your music just because of its beauty.
I honestly don’t know where I would be right now if i hadn’t discovered you.
I still get sad because you’re gone and I feel like you’re the only one in my life that I love and is there for me.
I feel like i’m in a much better state of mind ever since I discovered you.
The downward spiral I am going down has become much slower and I may even get out of it eventually. Thanks to your music.

From my heart and soul,

thank you Elliott.

Natalie.

Time really passes by where I am. The future frightens me, and sometimes I can’t stop thinking about it. Nothing ever happens here, but it is kinda my fault. I don’t want to admit to something like this, since it is not the end of the world, but sometimes it feels like it, so I regret the decision I made some years ago, that has lead me to how I feel now. But hopefully I’ll have the guts to face the world. And this is where you come around, Elliott, your music helps me out a lot. Your music is magic, and it relieves me of any mental pain that I get. Listening to you makes all the crazy little/huge problems easier to handle, even if it may seem like nothing to others. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am glad to have discovered you.

All things have a place under the moon as well as the sun.

With love,

Yadis.

Where to begin, Man. I don’t even know what to say. I haven’t been listening to your music for very long, but missing you is all the same. Like Conor once said, your music is best when you don’t have anyone to talk to on the phone. I feel like that a lot. You make the loneliness more bearable. It’s amazing. Yet, listening to you makes me miss you. It makes me wish you were still around. You really knew what you were doing. You were kind and compassionate, no matter what was thrown your way. I just want to thank you for what you’ve done, because nothing can replace it. I hope I see you in some other form, and I hope you’re okay. I miss you terribly, Elliott.

from the very first time i heard you sing, i’ve felt connected to you. you’ve been with me through all of my trials, smiles, tears, and just my life. i feel like you know me better than anyone, and i love you so much. it hurts sometimes to listen to your songs and feel all of that self-loathing because i read things you’ve said and things you’ve written and listen to you singing, and i know you were such a beautiful and caring human being. i grieve more for you every day than i have for a lot of the people i’ve lost in my life. i wish the world didn’t hurt your heart the way it did elliott, and i hope you’re happier now. thanks to you, i know i’m not alone.

love, shelby.